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dammm... [15 Jun 2005|05:39pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Im soooo sadd i havent talked to john in like 3 days.... ughh!!!

But anyways onto today! omg it was the best!! 8th grade went to lake compounds and i was hangin with John kalanda this dude that im awesomly good friends with obviously not the one i like but anyways i was hangin with him Briana and christy part of the time greg too gosh im pissed off at greg ughh!! so anyways i went on alllll the roller coasters even the upsidedown ones! lol then the last right i went on was like this thing that spun and shit so i was too scared to go on alone so my friend john sat in my lap lol that was fine with me johns quite sexy lol so anyways after that ride i was done for the day cuz i freakin puked after!! ughh i still feel like shit! all day thse dudes were tellin me how awesome i am and it was quite funny! but while i was waiting inline for this ride these assholes atarted making fun of me so i was all tellin them off with christy and brie so i was like brie got anything i can squeeze in my hand so shes liek yea i do so i take sunscreen and put a whole bunch in my hand and i make believe im shittin in my hand and im like omg you guys its sooo good you want some so i started smearing it on my face and eatting it!! lol ooo sooo funny! so then i smear lipstick alll over my face and im like im sorry my poop is jus soooo bloody today omg i almost pissed myself!!! lol but all in all the day was good i made some new friends and met some hotttieesss and puked so it was good! lol

But im sad real sad i miss john and its not fair!!! ughhh i wanna hug him sooooo badd ever since last week when we first met and hung out im sad with out him err...... >_< =(


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wow ^_^ [13 Jun 2005|09:21pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Gosh i soooo love John hes the koolest ever and hes got the most awesome eyes!!! you can like get lost in them ^_^ ooo my god we had the best day yesterday untill i almost got jumped by some slut chicks with big noses and what not... ughh that makes me sooooo sick!! errrr i dont even care anymore its jus sad...... i started crying yesterday i felt sooo stupid though cuz now john prolly thinks ima fuckin loser!!!! gosh.... but i gave him a hug yesterday before we went our seperate ways gosh i wish i could hug him for ever ahh!! But o my he makes me happy!!! ^_^ but anyways my dad started screamin at me sayin it was all my fault ::tear:: maybe he hates me! im sappose to be grounded but i think im off im not aloud to go to the beach anymore witch suckz cuz the beatch is my life!! -_- im maddd!!! im sooo sad ill never get to sit on my favorite rock with amand and talk about old times and shit ughhh!!! this sucks.... what the fuck am i gonna do when i get in trouble for the picture thing if i get suspended im walkin out of kool an i will go kill my self err what ever im soooo sick of this i dont know what to do anymore it jus really sucks!! john isnt online at all and im sooo sad with out the dude i jus dont know what to do.... errr!!!!



oo and people you have to read these lyrics its soooo sadd!! good song though!!!

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart you know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...


Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight.

I wish i could jus die,
My life is so blind,
I cant see straight,
So people bring me down to a sence of hate....

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fuck yurself..... [10 Jun 2005|11:24pm]
IM GONNA STAB JOHN!!!!!!!! errrr........
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whata bad day...... [09 Jun 2005|05:14pm]
[ mood | FUCK OFF!! ]

ok well wow today was a real bad day it was pretty messed up...... james is the koolest though gosh im gonna cry alot when he movies in 2 weeks..... i prolly wont be able to see him ever again but hell always be my home boy..... i jus got off the phone with him  a few mins ago and hes jus the koolest ever and i freakin love him as inlike a brother or even as a real real close friend hes jus the greatest! but anyways hes like gay though but i dont care hes jus still awesome..... but anyways getting back to what happened today i was getign out of lunch and i was walkin up the stare well and the door was blocked so i was gettin soooooo pissed off and ya jus dont wanna piss me off at all so im like fruckin move yur asses now away from the door and so i push everyone and there all screamin gothh and what not and im like shut the fuck up yur pathetic so i get through the crowed and i push everyone and i wacked some kid with the door... ehh o well so i go to klass and i hear sreamina nd once agai the same assholes have the kids stuck in the stare well and im gettin sooo pissed so i push the door open and everyone goes by so sara and her asshole friends were literally throwing people at me and what not so i was jus like what the fuck and then after like all these kids like like squished me behind the door and the wall was like right there and im clastaphobic or how ever its spelled so im like freakin out and i jus started crying and mrs. raba was calmin me down and sent me to mrs. prisco and i jus stayed in the ofifice for the wrest of the day which didnt bother me cuz if i saw sara i was gonna pound her face in! like amanda says "bite the curb!!!" errrrr im sooooo pissed! but the funniest part of my day was when i had my head in my locker and i bent over to get somethin and james came behind me and he poked me i eeeked and i smashed my head right into my locker! lol! it was kinda funny but it hurt sooo bad!! ok im done but before i go i have one last thing to say wel 2 things

sara fuckin watch it bitch!

and james yur my home boy and always will be even when you do move yur sooo kool! and jus so you people know i dont like james the way people think i may do hes my awesomely koo guy friend nothin more so no one get mad or anything.... i only like john an no one else.... so what ever think whatcha want im out!


jus remember John PINK POOPING POODLES!!!! hahahaaha! that was funny...... im gonna stea; yur dog maddy you better watch it! lol....



That pic ^ ^ ^ my little brother took and i though it was awesome so i put it here!!!

hahaha thats a funny pic!

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boreddom is bad! [05 Jun 2005|09:16am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i havent writtin anything in a while cuz my comp has been fucked up and what not.... so yea lets jus put it this way everything has been pretty dam bad.... im getting blamed for something i never did or said and its pathetic and saras havin her little friends tell her everything my friends say and its retarded sara is pathetic she thinks its soooo great to gt in everyones buisness its soooo stupid she really needs to shut the fuck up about everything cuz you knwow what friday my friends and i in math class were only talking about how everyone was blamin me for what happend since qhen do i write notes to joey??? joey is queer asss motherfuckin drugged up freak that loves fights! Ive never beat up anyone in my life so reall now come on what are those alians gettin to ya sara were hiding behind doors to come after you. sounds like someones paranoid haha freak. I think i should stop talkin about sara cuz ill end up getting in even more trouble. But seriously who in there right mind would think id beat up someone thats obsured ughh people are stupid and there is jus tooo much drama in everyones life ughh what ever....

Anyways john and i are kool again i guess im over the whole face that he like played me and what not but o well hes awesomeness and hopefully we'll hang soon cuz that would be jus awesomeness.... id pretty much give him the biggest hug ever! hehe! ^_^ well my comp is bein slow so yea ill be on my way now byebyezz!


"theyll think im insane but theyll all know my name"

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weeeee! [30 May 2005|05:43pm]
[ mood | angry ]

right now my comp isnt working right so im gonna make this short and sweet lets jus say spending 3 days with my 3 best friends is the most awesome thing ever!!! gosh we trashed our room and we jus had fun and lived it! ok well i gotta go ill write more tommorow if my comp isnt being stupid!! errr byebyezz someone kall me 931-7376




errrr i still like john but i dont think i have the slightest chance of hooking up with him... hmm o well i guess.....

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wow [22 May 2005|09:50am]
[ mood | cold ]

ok last night was great i hung out with andrew and kenny at aconcert at FYI i was gonna mosh but i was in a skirt and i was wearing a thong under it.... lol haha and it was all see threw.... yea thats not kool but kenny tried to dreg me in it was soooo funny kenny is the whitestblack dude ever!! hes so great.... lol hes ma home boy he all talked to me the whole night and pored a bottle of water all over me... lol i fell asleep in a chair and then andrew though i was smokin some crack errr suttin andhe came over to see if i was ok lol i was like yea sure im fine jus tired.... lol it was sooo great i wish i wasntin skirt cuz i would have fuckin jumpedin there!!! i cant wait for the american legion concert july 3rd!!!! everyones gotta go its gonna be soooo great i think my sisters BFs band is playin (cresant clover) and my ex boys friends band is mos def playin. I havent heard them but adam sings soooo freakin good!! and he plays guitar sooo fuckin awesome!! but last night was awesome and kenny yur the best and fuckin hilariousss!!! haha love ya boy hehe lol well i gotta go to church now byebyezz

O and if anyone saw me at FYI last night i was wearing stripped sox they went to my knees and checkerd shoes lol and i was on a skirt with a drop kick murphys hoodie on! hehe lol


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wow.... [21 May 2005|08:16am]
[ mood | angry ]

i havent written anything in a while i hate john all my friends pretty much know that now..... hmmm i wonder why.... but o well ive found that i like greg a lot more i mean hes my best friend an all but hes jus soo awesome i tell him i love him at lunch all the time lol he jus smiles and laughs and he was kinda sad cuz he was like omg i couldnt sit near you or any of our other friends at lunch cuz we have the assign seats now" awww grrrrr i miss that kid.... hes the greatest hes got a hard life and i know that but hes jus a strong willing person and hes jus an awesome friend i was sooo tempted to hug him yesterday when i saw him walkin down the hall at the end of the day and he stopped to talk to me. Greg is the koolest hes not a freakin player like everyone else hes unique in his own style and way he doesnt let people get to him and hes jus awesome. I remember when i was like all yur friends love you to death and then i was like do you love all of yur friends back" and he was like no lol but heres the thing though the next day in the hall way he was like i figured it out i love all you guys i hate everyone else lol awwww how cutee that was a couple weeks ago but hey still.... Gosh o Gosh O Gosh Greg really puts a smile on my face he seriously does. And if i cant sit next to him at lunch i swear im gonna freak! all cuz of this stupid assign seat bull shit!!! Well christy may or may not beable to go on the trip from wednesday untill friday. but she should be ok cuz she only like like 2 points cuz she said fuck lol what the hell every one says fuck its the most common word used at skool! errrmmm!!!!

But omg yesterday i had the balls to go up to rachel Riccio and tell her it wasnt me talkin shit about her and none of my friends care enough about her to talk shit eather so shelby steps in an shes like ehehehehehehehehe like the little wanna BE she is and she like omg omg omg you did not jus say that omg "all in a preppy voice" i was like chick shut up so they fuckin walk away talkin shit about me so im like what the fuck so i go into home room and i freakin screamin my head off i was like "I hope rachel jumps off a fuckin bridge and i had the balls to go up to her and tell her that it wasnt my friends and its jus stupid rumors" errrmmmm shes a stupid slut with her fuckin tits hangin out of her shirt and all ughhh yuck!!! but hey shes a wanna be slut well actually shes jus a plain wanna be cuz She tried to be goth now she tryin to be prep whats next wanna be gangster??? i think they are havin auditions for that on the street corner by her house.... o wait thats slut auditions thats sooo perfect for her.... AND RACHEL YUR FUCKIN TWIN BROTHER DAVE IS FUCKIN WHITE!!!!!!!!!! GET OVER YUR SELVES!!!!! STOP TRYIN TO BE SO GODD DAM BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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wow what a freakin day!!! [17 May 2005|06:11pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Ok well i see that amanda and i are tight again wich is kool with me cuz i hate fighting with her wow i found out sme interesting shit today and it could definetly change her life for the the worst so im jus gonna be there for amanda and hope that what she thinks isnt true cuz then that would be reallll badddd! I feel so bad for her right now id be scared shitless if i were her... but anyways onto what happend to day i pfficially dont like most black people cuz they are mean to me and its not kool at all errrr how sad is this a black person tellin me im ugly yea so be it if i am nothin much i can do about that sorry fellas if ya dont like me so be it eff off and leave me alone! ^_^ thats kool

But allthough steve and i got into another brawl today i still hate the kid like no one can imagin i dont understand why he hates me though i was allways sooo nice to him no matter how much the kid was an ass or smelled or what ever but now im sick of bein nice time for miss perky jess to start stickin up for her self and gett some people back for bein such morons and ignorantbitches in life errmmmm like i can help the way people act.

If i could id help everyone out but i only have 2 arms and 2 legs and im one person so jus stand in a fuckin line and ill help who i can but first you have to help yur self and have confidence.

But anyways seems to me like a lot of people have something stuck up their buttoxes and need some help adjusting to their aditudes too bad so many people beleive that they are the best and have such pride inthem selves but sorry people you really arent all that great you jus go along lying to yur self and then you believe those lies and go on in life thinking yur the only thing that matters. This sure doesnt apply to most people but it does for many in this quuer town i live in. Ive lived here all my life and ive never noticed how much ive been so hated int he past

Getting tipped over in a porta potty getting spit at made fun of having piss pored on my head at summer camp all this and more ive had to deal with some people get over yur depressed selves ok cuz ive had it a lot worse then a lot of people that complain of not having many friends yur lucky to hav one its better to have one good trusting worthy friend then to have a lot of friends that betray you and ditch you. I cant say i have no friends but i can say this if you have a friend keep it cuz they will be there through thick and thin no matter how hurt and down you are no matter if yur happy or in a bad mood if you feel like being hyper no matter what they will be there yur friends love you and they always will. So be true to yurself make the best of life cuz you only have 1 life. Once yur gone you arent gonna come back well there is an after life but thats a whole different story.

Im not saying that there isnt a time i never wanna be me. There are people out there that have it sooo much worse then me so thats why i try not to complain cuz i know i can make life better. Help is always around for depressiona nd every mood yur in. Jus dont let yur self drown in self pitty get help stick up for yurself and jus be happy.

Thats jus some word of advice most people wont understand the slightest thing ive said other will and thats kool with me i dont mind if i can help someone thats awesome. Im gladd to help anyone i can.

But anyways yesterday it seems as if i didnt go to skool cuz i was sick and what not that was the single most worse day of my life errr not kool at all people are stupid im not sayin im not but the truth is i dont understand why people get pleasure off hurting other seriously you wouldnt like it if someone went around poking out hings about you or hurting you back stabbing you. But hey this is how people are cant help the world but what ever it jus makes me (sic) to be around such morons making themselves look like complete asses its unbarable to look at. Whats this world become? Can someone answer that cuz i sure cant. I only know of a few people that i find the greatest who dont act the way most people do which are john-Suzy-brie-Amanda-Maddy-Christy-Ryan-cara-Nik- and some other peeps but yea... i jus dont get it anymore people are jus such fools these day to fit in you have to act like nieve bithes and show off like yur kool and i can name some people off the top of my head thats for sure:

1:sean voets
2:paul buttler
3:Tommy lawrence
4:John Jake horevath
5:Bobby bayless
6:Todd Tompkins
7:Danny Tompkins
8:Rachel riccio
9:David riccio JR
10:Kyle turbert
11:Sean Smith
12:Steven Commett
13:Dom Rivera
14:Matt Franco
15:Bianca Zizeck
16:rich perdal
17:Kelsey Farquison ::how ever its spelled::
18:Robert Curtis
19:Alicia Aldrige
19:Angil Irizarey
20:Evin Mink
21:Ashley Mansue
22:Rob muntz
23:sara silono

making people laff is the greatest!!! hehe! im done ima go now byebyezzzz!!



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blahhh [15 May 2005|09:45pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

errr.... thats all ive gotta say.... and today sucks

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I Want to sex john!! [15 May 2005|01:30am]
[ mood | hehe! ]

I want to sex john in the buttoooxxx!!! ^_^ gosh i want him hes sooo amazingly amazing and hes soooooo effffin kool!!! Gosh i love hime >_< he makes me oooo sooo happy hes uber kooolliiooozzzz im hyper right now and i have nothin to do and im actualy talkin to john at this momment hehe hes oo soo exciting! ::bites lip:: gosh if only people could see how much im smiling right now! hehe! Wow i havent writting an entry in soooo long and im bored right now and hyper and lost and out of it and confused and emotionly stressed and umm did i mention crzy?? lol weeeee

amanda and i are fighting and she ditched me today butttt errrr o well i guess im soo tired i guess and im jus happy inside and jus soo inlove >_< eekkk did i say love! omg i think i did! holy cliterous! can it be true? hmmm why yess lol ok ill stop talkin to my self now ermmmmm pink ponnies with a purple penis or maybe a pink poodle with a pink penis ya never know whatcha gonna get! teeheee eat them corn rolls missy or yull starve this week ok master ill eat and maybe i can have some baby rats later yur darlin jus eat dem corn rolls!! ^_^ hehe im odd.... ok im done i think ive gone cookoo! wha whaaaaa

I look out side and see a shadow its too good to be true
After all these months ive felt my heart heal and come un brused
I feel so love i feel like im floating in the sky
I knew i did all i could no matter howhard i tried
I thought i could never love again or feel so pretty inside
No matter all the nights i was hurt i always seem to cry
But now i seem to be ok and life is back where i want it to be
I hope im ok thats what i want myself to believe
I care for you but is it really true
How i fell so deeply inlove with you


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uhmmm [10 May 2005|08:31pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

interesting day its been wayy funny jus ask maddy or christy they should know they almost shit themselves lol well maybe not shit themselves but it was oooo sooo funny i was acting like steve today cuz he wasnt at skool today hahaha it was the greatest.... yea now im home and im talkin to the koolest person ever his names john hes ooo soo awesomeness! goshh hmmmm yea.... gosh i like that kid... hmmm yea i dont know todays been jus great i hope it gets even better im bored right now and all but yea im of to do what ever now here are the 2 funniest picz of today one i drew the other my friend james drew









ok im done.... toodles.....

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[07 May 2005|09:02pm]
[ mood | amused ]

omg!! ryan is some hott shit hes the hottest person like ever omg! so i had to post his pic cuz hes jus sooo awesome lookin!!! whoaaaaa!






omg! how ubber sexy!

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hahaha! [06 May 2005|06:04pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

hahahaa! jesse ia queer!



hahaha asses.....

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wow.... [06 May 2005|07:03am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

o my i have the hotts for a dude named john one of my sisters friends o my gosh hes soo niceeee hes everything i want in a person he plays guitar writes poetry useally has long hair... o myy but he isnt emo but o well hes sooo kool and hes jus really really nice so much better then jesse and tony and john is just like me hes random loves the night loves the beach thinks like the same things as me gosh i want him some how i wanna end up bein with him cuz hes too perfect for me tooo be true but the thing is it is true hes like god and he isnt like every other guy i think im in love..... but time will only tell... hmmmm yea ima go to skool now toodls ^_^


I cut my wrists to the vain
I cant keep my self from going insane
Nothing is worth it when you are always so alone
Exspecialy when you dont have a place to kall a home
Always fighting with the same friends over stupid shit you didnt mean
As i hold my throat i can not breath
Im bleeding on my papers all over the floor
Im hanging on a rope behind my door
Noone will check in my room to see if im allright
So there i hang life less all night

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what a night! [30 Apr 2005|08:55pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

2 new pics from last weekend!


 haha i dont know...


lmao! dont ask...



last night was oooo sooo crzy!

well last night there was a local concert and my sister and i went and met up with amanda suzy brie pat jimbo nick joe and other peeps well we didnt all hang together we hung out at seperate times except i was with amanda all night the funny part of the night was when i didnt know there was more thn 1 toilet in the gurls bathroom so i went into the boys bathroom and use that bathroom it was great jason told me which toilet not to use cuz he pissed all over it lol so when i walked out of the guys room a lot of guys were like what the hell and they were laughin and i was like "Yes guys i was born with a penis" lol it was hilarious!! there was a kid who walked up to me and he was like can you find my leporcon he was a sexy sexy studd!! lol then we see my sister best friend passed out on a table she had alchohal poisoning and the whole night me and this other kid stayed with her and the gurl jessica who was sick shes RJs jasons best friend and they just left her on the floor to go get high it was soooo fucked up!! grrr all in all it was an awesome night im just real tired i want amanda shes soooo sexy! hehe! love ya chick!

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[22 Apr 2005|09:51pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

today wasgreat amanda and i hung out today it was awesome!! im sooooo tired! looki at the pic we took tograther!






heheh i love amanda shes ma bestest friend ever!!! this was a great day!!


maddy sariously chick you better fuck off and leave me alone i didnt do shit you so it would be great if youd leave me alone. thanks much toodles! o and making queer screen names to fuck with me isnt kool at all yur such a little baby chick you cant learn to be nice to people. Quit being depressed and get over yur self amanda and i have a worse life then you so shut up chick go drink and get high somemore and act like a total frenchy pewswa o yea yur soooo depressed wooo yea about what you are soo retarded and seriously chick you need to figure out if yur queer or straight cuz its sick when i hear you say oo i like her but then the next day yur tellin some guy yur straight cuz he wants to go out with you. ughhh stop makin a fool of yur self and leave me alone thanks thats great o and im not a whore cuz ive never had sex with anyone and ive never given any one a blow job yea so who ya kallin a whore worry about yur so kalle d "depression" and be more "emo" although you have no idea what the hell emo is ughh jus go away that would be awesome


-Jess &hearts;

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howdy [21 Apr 2005|09:46pm]
[ mood | bored ]

This is my new journal cuz i got tired of my old one i wanted to liven things up a bit

Ok well let me clue you in on some of the things that have been happening and what not:

Well mady and i are no longer friends for sure i dont care about her anymore shes just makin me sick jesse has a new girl friend who hes cheating on and hes soooo queer and amandas my lover lol

so onto whats been happening this past week


Did pretty much nothin just sat around the whole day and got into a fight with my dad and i got grounded for a day and what not.

left my house around 10ish and road my bike like 2 miles to amadnas and we went to hang at the beach it was pretty fun my brother was actin up though he was bein an ass and wouldnt listen to anyone. I went home around 5ish and then ate dinner i had such bad sun burn i jus went to bed after.

Woke up then went to amandas at 11ish and we then went down to the beach and hung out with none pretty much but let me get to wednesday that was interesting

Went to amandas around 12 and we went down to the beach we were sappose to meet this kid nick down there but he got a flat so he left the skate park and amanda and i just hung around and saw my grand mother omg we were soo high i wasnt as high as amanda though she tripped over her self and i ended up runnig her over with the bike lmao! then we went back to her house and drank some odd tasting beer but i didnt drink it staight out amanda but cranbury juice and orange juice in it omg it was sooooo good! woo! it was great but amanda was oooo sooo drunk i left and when she got online she was crzy and she was kallin up jesse and what not omgit was funny!

Woke up ate breakfast took the bike to amandas and we went to the beach it was great we were sooo soor from yesterday it was great though we were hangin with louis for a while but he got weird so amanda and i ditched him and now im here ok well im done typing so toodles!

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